.jpg)
After much deliberation and with trepidation I began sleep training with my little boy last night. We have always had a ritual where I have nursed or rocked him to sleep with a lullaby which I must say I really enjoyed. When he is asleep I enjoy the moment, hold him for a while, kiss his soft sleeping face and watch him gently breathing. Then slowly I walk through to his room and lay him gently in his cot, close the mozzie net and leave the room quietly. It is a special time and one I never take for granted. But... yes there is a but. My sweet little angel is about to turn a year old and he is still waking twice in the night for a bottle and always lands up in my bed so keeps me awake at all different hours very often. Inevitably I am very tired the next day and often ratty and grumpy. This isn’t fair on my family especially Lily. I often find myself apologising to her for snapping at her, which is not how I intended to be as a mother to my children.
I don’t know why it’s been such a huge decision as I did it with Lily and never looked back. Yet the thought of leaving my precious little bundle to scream killed me and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Until last night that is. As I was about to begin hubby reminded me that once I started I couldn’t stop otherwise I would be wearing a cross on my back for a very long time. We did the whole routine and I put him down, and he cried- boy did he cry – and I held myself back from running in to pick him up and rock him to sleep. I went in every 5 minutes to lay him down and tell him I loved him. Then suddenly it was quiet. 20 minutes later and he was asleep. He woke at 1am for a bottle which I gave to him in his cot and then again at 5.30am. Then he and I had a lovely time together in bed snuggling and cuddling and enjoying each other before waking up lily and Mark. The day has come to an end so this story will be continued. Tonight is the 2nd night of ‘controlled crying’ and I will let you know how it goes...
